Monthly Archives: January 2013

  1. HS2 to bring UK roaring into 1980s

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    January 28, 2013 by Mark Burton


    David Cameron has today announced that he has given the go-ahead for an ambitious railway project linking London with places …
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  2. “I’ve lassoed the kettlebell weight. Do I win something?”

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    January 17, 2013 by Mark Burton


    It’s been over a week and I’m still doing exercise. I think this may be a sign of deep-seated mental …
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  3. Shoppers ‘outraged’ by low horse content in Tesco burgers

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    January 16, 2013 by Mark Burton


    Appalled supermarket customers today expressed their disgust at revelations that supermarket giant Tesco has been selling frozen burgers containing as …
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  4. Wait for it…

    1

    January 14, 2013 by Mark Burton


    The mood is tense in Britain tonight as it emerges that snow has fallen and the country is still functioning. …
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  5. Help! I’ve taken exercise!

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    January 11, 2013 by Mark Burton


    Dear Doctor, I took a heavy dose of exercise yesterday and am presenting symptoms of extreme pain, reduced movement and …
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  6. “I’m never drinking again!”, declares man holding drink

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    January 2, 2013 by Mark Burton


    As part of the UK’s ongoing commitment to total annihilation and an early, gin-soaked grave, millions of Britons have started …
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