1. Glastonbury ‘just a muddy version of your office’

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    June 24, 2015 by Mark Burton

    Revellers arriving at Glastonbury for days of inebriated mayhem have been shocked to discover that all of their colleagues are …
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  2. Cycling the Alps: Tour du Mont Blanc

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    June 16, 2015 by Mark Burton

    Remember last year, when I signed up for that stupidly long, stupidly mountainous cycle tour, and complained about it endlessly? …
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  3. District Line gains sentience, turns feral

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    February 3, 2015 by Mark Burton

    In a terrifying turn of events, it has been confirmed that London’s least reliable Tube line has become a living …
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  4. UKIP song heralds hilarious new era of political broadcasts

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    October 21, 2014 by Mark Burton

    Nigel Farage and his band of people who are only saying what everyone else is thinking would like everyone to …
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  5. “Thank you for travelling on the Central line”

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    September 16, 2014 by Mark Burton

    Eh? Did that actually happen? Right, status check: Am I still asleep? No. Am I drunk? No. Is the body …
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  6. Every Scot to get luxury jet to stay in UK

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    September 8, 2014 by Mark Burton

    The Better Together campaign has denied descending into panic while simultaneously promising the whole Scots population lavish gifts. As the …
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  7. Television out of ideas

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    September 1, 2014 by Mark Burton

    All viable ideas for television programmes have been used, broadcasters fear. The hour-long, recurring, behind-the-scenes documentary about how teams are …
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