1. “Thank you for travelling on the Central line”

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    September 16, 2014 by Mark Burton


    Eh? Did that actually happen? Right, status check: Am I still asleep? No. Am I drunk? No. Is the body …
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  2. Every Scot to get luxury jet to stay in UK

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    September 8, 2014 by Mark Burton


    The Better Together campaign has denied descending into panic while simultaneously promising the whole Scots population lavish gifts. As the …
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  3. Television out of ideas

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    September 1, 2014 by Mark Burton


    All viable ideas for television programmes have been used, broadcasters fear. The hour-long, recurring, behind-the-scenes documentary about how teams are …
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  4. High Alps Challenge -a week of going up mountains on a bicycle

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    July 24, 2014 by Mark Burton


    So here it is then, the write up that literally three of you have all been waiting for. As you …
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  5. Ants preparing for annual airborne assault

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    July 3, 2014 by Mark Burton


    Ants across the UK are doubling in size and roaming the streets menacingly in the build up to┬átheir annual attempt …
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  6. Cycling Training 1: London to Brighton*

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    May 31, 2014 by Mark Burton


    *nearly. I’m pleased to announce that Alps training has started in earnest. Today I embarked upon the challenging 85km route …
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  7. Tossers replaced by arseholes in political earthquake

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    May 27, 2014 by Mark Burton


    UKIP leader Nigel Farage has declared a glorious new era in British politics after his shower of arseholes narrowly defeated …
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